The Death of Bennitt v2.0

As some of our more devoted readers may have realized, The Life of Bennitt has not been updated in quite some time. The reason for this is because the TLOB movement and cause is dead.

In October of this year, Bennitt posted the “Pastafarianism – Turning An Argument Into A Joke” story which led to several subscribers leaving the blog. Some even complained that the post was scratching at healing wounds which were still sensitive. Ashamed at what his blog had become, Bennitt refused to make any further posts to the Life of Bennitt. Instead, he vowed to start a project which would not only surpass TLOB in the amount of regular visitors but which would change the way people read facts online. Bennitt vowed that this new project would catapult him out of the darkness of Africa and into the history books.

Unfortunately, even as his best friend, I have no idea when or how this new project will happen. As far as I know a new blog is being started. Perhaps one with a little more direction than TLOB. I have not spoken to Bennitt sense he decided to stop posting on here but he did inform me of his plans to leave South Africa and to move to Jamaica.

Dear reader, on behalf of Bennitt Bartl, I thank you today for your support and for making this blog, for the short time that it was completely active, the enjoyable read that I have found it to be. For it is not us, the writers, who make The Life of Bennitt interesting but it is each and every one of you who return to the site again and again (and even those who have arrived for the first time) that give us the encouragement to post the story of our lives on here. Farewell, for now.

2010
12/21
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Pastafarianism – Turning An Argument Into A Joke

Touched by His Noodly Appendage, a parody of T...

Another attempt at making the Christians mad

We’ve all had those heated discussions about religion and we call all say that they pretty much end in the same way: death. Whether it is the death of a friendship or actual death caused by a jealous religious group, the topic of religion has always been one that I’d avoid by almost all means. There is, however, one argument that, when I first read it, I almost agreed with but now feel that it has spiraled into a joke.

In May 2005, Bobby Henderson, published a letter in which he said that “Intelligent Design” was stupid and that it should be excluded from school curricula. Instead, he wrote, evolution should be taught because the “evidence”. As part of his argument he introduced a new god, called the Flying Spaghetti Monster or FSM. According to him, he was part of a “Pastafarian” group who worshiped a large monster who had created Earth and now governs a Heaven made of a beer volcano and a strip club. At first the argument made perfect sense: there is no evidence of God‘s existence except written and spoken word. The same goes for FSM.

The reason why I think the argument is now not only a hoax but also a shitty joke is because of the amount of “followers” that FSM has no attracted. People who have the same idea, but run around making fools of themselves to prove that knowledge and evidence is power.

The Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster is growing every day and Henderson continues to post things on his website such as “FSM visions” and the exploits of the followers who believe that they are pirates. In short, the argument, which was praised as being the next form of Russel’s Teapot, has now become a nerdy fan club for people who worship Darwin. It seems that they are more intent now on making fun of Christianity and Judaism than on saving the little kids in school from being taught that their ancestors were in fact not monkeys.

The ability to make a good argument is one that should be treasured, not squandered or advertised. As soon as that argument is run into the ground like some old Uncyclopedia joke, it soon becomes just that.

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2010
10/14
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Just Ask “God”

My friend, Dr. Jesse Jones, and I have during our many elegant, and sometimes dangerously drunken, parties discussed the ideas of God and why our ideas of Him and His existence differ so greatly. After one such argument, I decided to Google “God” but instead started playing around with the suggestions that Google throw out when one types in half a phrase. One such suggestion led to the question: Is Google God?

I started reading the article by a group of people who have started calling themselves the followers of the Church of Google. In it they stated that “Google is the closest thing that we have to an actual god”. The reason for this is that Google has all the characteristics of being god-like. An example of this is that Google is an all knowing “being” and more people have said that they “pray” to Google (i.e. search for truth) than to any other god combined!

When I explained this to Dr. Jones, he said that it makes sense but that “one cannot thank Google”. The Church of Google or the “Googlists” have in fact written a series of prayers to Google, actually thanking “Her” for all that “She” has done for us. There are even commandments that must be followed by anyone who wishes to become a Googlist. And while they make a pretty good argument, it is clear that the search for God might not go further than man’s ability to program or add information to a never ending source.

I do not think that Google is God. I do not condone the worship of a Search Engine, whether it was made by man or the Spaghetti Monster. But I will once again say that the Googlists make a good argument, better than any I’ve seen in a while. But I guess that would be for you to decide.

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2010
10/12
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The Social Network

 

Facebook may have been a "Mark Zuckerberg" production, but the movie isn't.

 

“You don’t get to 500 million friends without making a few enemies.”

So the moment we here at TLOB have been waiting for has finally arrived…at least it has in on the other side of the pond. The Social Network, which is based on the book The Accidental Billionaires, which I discussed in a previous post. The movie was released on the 1st of October in the USA, but will only be appearing on the big screen here in South Africa on the 5th of November.

So far everything I have read about the movie says it’s going to be awesome and the trailer also doesn’t disappoint. Despite the movie as being described as mainly “Hollywood-like” and “overly fictional”, I really want to see it…so friggin’ bad.

Mark Zuckerberg appears to have changed his view of the movie. When rumors first started of it’s release, he said, “I just wished that nobody made a movie of me while I was still alive[sic]“. The film, as well as the book, doesn’t exactly portray Zuckerberg as “the good guy”. He comes across as this douche bag who believes that he is entitled to get whatever he wants and relishes in the idea of becoming famous with an idea that he “stole”.

I think it must be weird to go and watch yourself in a movie and perhaps even make a few character comparisons. All in all I believe that The Social Network do excellent and I can’t wait for it to start showing here. It is for this reason that Chris and I have decided to name The Social Network as the winner of this month’s TLOB Award in the category of Most Anticipated Block Buster of the Year. I hope you are all as excited as I am.

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2010
10/12
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SALT – Everyone Is A Russian Spy

Edward Cullen can be seen here standing between Jolie and that copper.

Every now and then, I get dragged along with one of my friends to go and see a movie. And on Sunday I went to see SALT, the new movie starring Angelina Jolie.  You remember her, right? That woman who started an orphan collection in Africa, stole Brad Pitt from Jennifer Aniston, became the “real” version of every computer geek’s fantasies as Lara Croft, and spiced up celebrity life with all kinds of controversial and sexual scandals? You don’t? Oh…

Anyway, so I went to go and see SALT, right? I was like, “Okay, so it’s Angelina Jolie, kicking ass in some movie named after what I might find on my eggs. Why not watch it?”. And so there I was, Creme Soda in hand, watching Angelina run around, shooting people, being sexy and once again showing the world that women can build some pretty impressive explosives.

The movie does, however, leave you wanting more. It contains some twists and turns as everyone you thought you can trust turns out to be a Russian spy with an evil agenda (surprise!). It contains a few (rather fake) action scenes, including a high speed car/bike chase throughout…I forget what city they were in. The chase does feel a bit like it takes up the better part of the movie, with a kind of “we desperately require your attention here” feel.

Many people are bound to disagree with me since you can’t say bad things about a movie that stars the woman from Wanted. And yet, it seems like we’ve seen it all before from Angelina. The action movie industry seems to see something in her that I don’t, but hey, if it works…

So head on down to a cinema near you, see SALT and return with a new knowledge about how cunning those Russians can be. Or, maybe not. The point is, go and see for yourself how confused a spy can be and also so very alone…

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2010
10/06
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Caution: Drunk People Crossing

Consisting mostly of word tea, this brew is good enough for any drunkard.

So it’s the 4th of October and Aadrklop has come and gone. Potch is quiet once more and all is right in the world. And yet, with my brother out of my flat, my head no longer throbbing and my wallet completely empty, it feels as if it all came to pass just a little too soon.

While standing on the balcony of my new flat, shouting at the drunk people walking by down below, I thought of the idea that such parties and events usually come and go faster than we’d like them too, leaving us saying, “I wish I had gone to the @#$!ing Klipdrif tent before all the damn tickets were sold out”.

Yes, dear reader, regret is the icing on a very small cake with not a single candle on top of it.

I’m not saying I drank a lot. I spent R200 a night for four nights and that was it. There were people who drank more and if you are such a person and you’re reading this right now, good for you for still being able to read. I’m glad you enjoyed yourself and I hope to see you again next year.

But it’s not just about how much I drank, which I still feel is a bit, but the consistency of the binges. I drank, slept, got up, went to work, came home, drank and the cycle started again. Towards the end of it I thought I might die. I didn’t, but I saw it coming.

To those of you who did enjoy the consistency and were able to breath and function normally afterwards, I say, “Well done!”.  Hell, even my liver would salute you, but he can’t even start a round of applause, he’s that sick.

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2010
10/04
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Events of Potchefstroom
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The Art of Working During Aardkolp

So it’s that time of the year and here I am, at work, during one of the biggest events in Potchefstroom: Aardklop. It kind of makes me want to cry, really.

Aardklop is a mixture of music, culture and festivities, all thrown into a drunken haze of beer, wine and “moonshine” tents. It’s the one week a year that students and normal people can forget about their troubles and lose their car keys between the non-existent parking space and the drinking holes. And yet, this isn’t the only thing that Aardklop is really about. It’s about culture and the celebration thereof, both in English and Afrikaans.

The fact that I have to be working while everyone else is off watching bands and musicians strumming their guitars and spilling their whiskey is rather saddening. But somehow I am glad. What with me moving into my new flat this week and trying to finish a programming project before the end of the month, getting drunk out of my mind at this moment might not be the most productive move right now. And what makes matters worse is the people I used to work with have this glorious week off and are probably enjoying the festivities as I type this post.

Alas, dear reader, the nighttime will come and I will be free to wonder the grounds (by myself) looking for a place to sit and drown my sorrows. As for those of you who aren’t working, we here at TLOB would like to wish you a happy and fruitful Aardklop 2010.

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2010
09/28
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Enjoy The Silence, If You Can

So The Life of Bennitt has experienced a dry spell that has set the tone for this week. With absolutely no views in the past four days, it seems that the trend has finally curled into a little ball and died. Which is not necessarily a bad thing, seeing as Chris has decided to spend more time with his girlfriend and I have decided to put all this effort into writing a book, rather than a web log.

The book will be roughly based on, you guessed it, this blog. Using past experiences and my weird “stand-still” way of writing, I will be recording a sort of non-fiction based fictional novel about Dave Dronko and his experiences as both student and social drop-out. Though the actual plot has not yet moved based being summarized in my head, I can tell you that the book might even make it onto a shelf one day. Who knows, perhaps I might even get recognized as a writer.

And while I’m making promises to myself and getting violation notice emails from Yahoo! (2 already, yeah), the world seems to be taking a turn for the dull. The weather outside is gray and boring and even my will power as a writer is fading. That said, I think that the best to do would be to put down my pen for now and continue working.

So until next time, dear reader. Whenever that may be.

2010
09/27
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Writing and Literature
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Trolling For More Than Just an Answer

So my recent obsession with Yahoo! Answers and screwing with their community has led to the birth of my favorite new hobby: Trolling.

What is trolling, you ask? Trolling is the art of messing with an internet community while pretending to participate in what they are doing. Basically you play dumb to get a laugh out of others while pissing off the creators of the site by providing false information. It’s evil but quite satisfying at the same time. The ability to not only mash up some online service but also make those who are actually trying to use the site mad as hell, is one that I will treasure for many years to come.

Trolling isn’t just about giving wrong answers with hints of sarcasm and irony. No, it’s also about asking stupid questions that make others think, “Wow, either this guy is a retard or he’s trolling.” And that is the mystery that saves the world from a boring site where the only information you get is the truth.

In my previous post, I accused YA of breaking up the truth by providing a reason and environment to go trolling. But the truth is that despite the lack of truthful information, the amount of laughter that some responses and questions have caused me is phenomenal.  And the rush of adrenaline I get by trolling along with the rest has changed my outlook on how this day would end.

A toast! To Yahoo! Answers, for giving us the ability to troll like madmen.

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2010
09/22
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Yahoo! Answers – The Death of Truth

Yahoo Answers Turns One

The Yahoo! Answers hamster celebrates his first birthday

This isn’t the first time that I’ve written about Yahoo! Answers. The Q&A website, launched in 2005, has surely changed the way in which we ask stupid questions. However, it seems that most of the time that stupid question is going to get you an even dumber response.

There is a buzz on Yahoo! Answers that goes beyond the call of duty. To be able to give a quick, witty and often overly sarcastic response to someone who is less educated than you are is killing the truth that the website is trying to spread. It’s like the Q&A version of Wikipedia if it were to run off and elope with Uncyclopedia. And what’s worse is the fact that the answerer is able to give a source. It’s kind of like those “are you over 18?” messages on adult sites. You can be eleven years old and you’ll know how to click, “Yes”.  Same with the source box in Yahoo! Answers. All you do is put in a reliable source that doesn’t exist and watch as people are fooled into thinking that you actually know something.

Sarcasm is all over Yahoo! Answers. People tend to give answers that make the questioner made but the people reading the answers laugh. The worst you can do is “Report Abuse” which then gives you a long page to read and the ability to choose a reason. The reasons are that you either think the person is breaking the “guidelines” (which you have yet to read) or that his/her answer is “illegal”, which makes even less sense. Are you a lawyer? If not then how do you know that the answer is illegal? And don’t say common-sense.

Rude humor and the inability to get an honest answer kind of breaks the purpose of Yahoo! Answers but it keeps me coming back. While the truth might not exactly be out there, it is a great way of passing time and getting a laugh out of it.

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2010
09/21
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